I’m not in travel mode no more. 
I’m in Daly City working in San Francisco. It’s been a little over a year since I last travelled and though I miss it and crave for it everyday, this dose of domestic, local life is what I needed. This city is where I dreamed of working when I was younger, it was always a treat whenever my family and I went up for a day trip to Chinatown. I’ve always had it in the back of my head that one day I will live in San Francisco and look it has already been one full year! One full year is enough to create a lifestyle, a pattern, and a home. I definitely feel I’m part of the city when I walk and explore the streets of San Francisco because unlike in a mindset of a visitor I don’t feel like I need to rush or head an hour home after my trip. I’m here and I’m planning to be here for a little bit before I venture off to my next adventure.
Ever since I’ve been in San Francisco to start a working life and potentially grow my career, it hasn’t been the same experiences I have had compare to the past. Living in Romania, every moment was unfamiliar and new, all of my senses were heightened and extremely alert whereas living in San Francisco, I don’t know what it is exactly but my senses are comfortable, neutral. Here I speak the same language, the culture is not opposite, I am working and not studying, so instead of my outer senses being heightened I feel like my sense of self-awareness has been turned on, completely HIGH POWER ON. Maybe I’m thinking too much, maybe because I’m not constantly moving all the time, maybe it’s part of the process of growing up, whatever it is, something is changing in me. Something good and I just can’t contain myself. Rawr.
It’s wasn’t an easy year, but I feel I have grown immensely as a person. Entering the “real world” and working with people who are different than me has been a challenge. The real world hit me in the head and woke me up to a different world and it also hit me in the head and woke me up to challenge my beliefs and my values. For the one year, I had kept the people in my life who I loved but were really drowning my energy instead of giving me more. I started to become more selective of people who I want in my life, i.e., people who I aspire to be, who support me, who are kind and loving and vice versa. The most important person I pushed away was myself as I was trying to make sense with me and the people around me. I’m still in the early process of figuring out who I am, what is important to me, and the connections I have with people.
Was it a dark year like how I describe it above? Yes, in a way where parts of my life were unknowingly heavy, I was unable to accept some truths and I was unable to forgive my mistakes and other people’s mistakes. But no at the same time because since I’m more aware of myself, I am able to acknowledge that I can accept and forgive, to not to make the same mistakes again, and move an inch forward. One. Inch. One. Inch. Foward. Rawr.
Thank you for reading my first post of the year. I had to write about my awareness of self-growth because I’m excited to see the person I’m progressing to be!
Happy February 14th! Love yourself!
Dandelion Traveler
dandeliontraveler 